Support After a Divorce

For many years some divorced couples and an increasing number of medical professionals have said that divorce is like a death. When a marriage ends many couples need time to mourn the loss of their marriage. Divorce can sometimes be acrimonious, especially where children and finances are concerned and this can only add to the misery of the process. Most people need the support of their friends and family after a divorce.

One of the problems that many divorcees face is that shared friends may either drift away altogether or side with one or other of the partners in a divorce case. In situations where a person does not have many personal friends or a family to speak to, they may feel the need for professional counselling and advice. You may think that you will feel free and happy following a divorce but this is rarely the case. Where a couple have children together they will need to be as amicable as possible at contact times in order to save themselves and more importantly the children from further misery.

It is unfortunately the case that for many divorced couples the problems do not end with the divorce. Some couples will wrangle for years over finances and contact and relationships with children in spite of any orders that the court may make. While the court does have the power to imprison parents who deliberately and consistently refuse to adhere to a court order regarding access and contact, they rarely do this.

If you are having problems in seeing your children or in letting the other parent see the children, then you should consult a solicitor. Unless couples can agree on things it is possible to drag these issues through the family courts for years and all that does is to make everyone concerned more miserable. Whatever you do you should never lambaste the other parent in your children’s hearing as this can be very damaging to them and to their relationship with you.

Try not to isolate yourself after a divorce. Even if everything is amicable and there are no issues regarding residency, contact and financial support, you can still feel lost and incredibly alone. You may have been part of a couple for many years and find it hard to see yourself as a single person again. You may need to visit new places and make friends with new people in order to build a picture of yourself as an individual rather than as one half of a couple. In the early months after a divorce you should resist all the attempts of well meaning, still married friends, to introduce you to prospective new partners. Getting over a divorce can take some people a lot of time and you need to give yourself that time before you become embroiled in another long term relationship. Make sure that you look after yourself, find a hobby that you can engage in with other people as this helps to alleviate the loneliness.